


You Can Be Better

by kaleleafs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, End of an era, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Peter Parker, Irondad, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Stressed Peter Parker, Supportive Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a Good Dad, but still, more like a father figure, spiderson, supportive james “rhodey” rhodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 20:56:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleleafs/pseuds/kaleleafs
Summary: He's about to leave the kitchen when a glare of light stops him. It's coming from a more hidden corner of the room, some kind of frame reflecting the light. Oh. A frame, yes. With a photograph being held in it.





	You Can Be Better

**Author's Note:**

> this is what happened and i will not tolerate other opinions whoops sorry

He's tired. That's the only thing he can comprehend right now. This has, honest to god, been the longest day of his entire life and he spent five years being dusted, so that's saying a lot.

It's dark out finally. The crowd has started to disperse and those remaining are in the living room drinking, reminiscing, celebrating despite their grief. He supposes that's all well and good, Mr. Stark would've wanted it that way, wouldn't have wanted anyone to suffer or blame themselves.

Maybe all of them do have something to celebrate. They got five years with him, five extra years that Peter will never get to have, will never get back, and surely that's something to celebrate. Peter knows what he'd do if he had five more years with Mr. Stark. He'd listen and watch and admire, he'd laugh and send him stupid pictures and use his genius to win science fairs. They'd go out with Morgan, Morgan who doesn't know how good she had it, doesn't know how hard her life is going to be now. They'd be, well... they'd be a family.

It's easier to think about all of the things he could've had rather than the ones he did have. The good memories feel so hard to grasp, as though they were just dreams of someone else. Maybe they were.

Peter's not cut out for this, has never been a fan of all of these emotions. It's much better to push them away, pretend they're not there and eventually deal with them when they all bottle up. But this, losing someone this important to him, seems to be something that won't let itself be forgotten.

He'd excused himself to the kitchen to avoid all of the reminiscing from the last five years and so on. His relationship with Mr. Stark is best kept to himself— no one could truly understand what they meant to one another, what the impact of all of this is. Not even Pepper. Not even Happy.

He's about to leave the kitchen when a glare of light stops him. It's coming from a more hidden corner of the room, some kind of frame reflecting the light. Oh. A frame, yes. With a photograph being held in it.

He knows he shouldn't snoop, this isn't his house or his things. He has no right to be here, hasn't for five years now. But still, a part of him is so desperate to know and have another part of Mr. Stark, one he'll never get from the man himself.

That part wins in the end.

When he nears the frame, he recognizes the picture instantly. It's him and Mr. Stark from the day he finished his internship with Stark Industries. They both look ridiculous and he can remember that day with striking clarity. It seemed so formal for what was surely the best job of his entire life. Working for Mr. Stark had never felt like a job at all, it was life changing. Knowing what he knows now, he'd say it was a gift.

As he picks up the frame, he notices the fingerprint smudges on the side. How many times did Tony pick up this same picture, thinking back to that same day reminiscing about a better time?

He holds it for awhile, simply enjoying the weight of it in his hands. He wonders if Tony would care if he took it. He wonders if Miss Potts will let him have it.

Just when he's about to sit it back down in its place, his fingers brush the backside of the frame but instead of feeling the smooth plaque of the frame, his fingers brush paper.

In way too deep to back out now, he turns the frame over and frees the folded notebook paper that was clipped to the back. Knowing he shouldn't open it because it's probably something personal, probably for Miss Potts or Morgan or Rhodey, he simply can't resist. Because this might have been Tony's it could have his handwriting and he's desperate for anything the man may have touched.

Unsurprisingly, the lined paper is filled with Tony's messy scrawl, genius mind always moving faster than his hand could. What is surprising, however, is the name attached to the top.

_Peter,_

He stops reading instantly, too stunned to carry on. Mr. Stark wrote him a letter of all people? With a shaky breath that barely fights the tears coming to his eyes, he reads on.

_Peter,_

_I hope if you're reading this now, then everything we did to reverse the snap worked. I hope you're looking at a world restored, happy, building itself back up. That's all anyone can ever hope for after all, happiness._

_I also assume if you're reading this now, then there was a rather untimely death on my part. Or everything worked out wonderfully and in the midst of our celebration, I forgot to take this out from the frame. For the sake of this letter, let's go with the first one._

_I'm not going to lie, the chances of us all coming back from this time heist unscathed are pretty slim, but we have to try. I have to try. It's like you told me — if you can do the things that we can do but do nothing, then when something happens, that's on us. The snap, half of the world being dusted, that was on me._

_If I could do it over again, I'd like to say there are a thousand different things I'd do differently. Weapons manufacturing, Afghanistan, Ultron, Civil War, allowing you to follow me into space like an idiot, but I'm not sure that I would. That's the point to all this, isn't it? I invented time travel, I had the actual ability to go back in time and change everything. But all I wanted was to bring you back. And the rest of the world, sure, but it was your life that mattered most._

_I know you're going to blame yourself for this, kid, and more than anything you should know that no matter what you could've done differently, nothing would have changed this. Part of the journey is the end and all that. This may not be the end I wanted, but it's the one that was always waiting for me._

_You told me once that you wanted to be more like me, and I told you I wanted you to be better. The truth is, you've always been better, Pete. If Morgan turns out to be half the kid you are, I'll be the proudest man alive. Or dead. Ouch, don't be mad at me for that one._

_Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that it's okay, Peter. This is what I wanted, this is the path I chose. It's okay for you to move on, to live your life because that's all I wanted for you. It's okay to be Spider-man all on your own, you never needed me as a mentor to be a great superhero. You already are one. But I'll forever be grateful you wanted me anyways._

_The world needs people like you. I'm afraid it always will. But you can do it, I never doubted that for a second. God knows I've made plenty of mistakes in my life, but recruiting you wasn't one of them._

_I left you a few things that you'll find in time, and when it comes, you'll know what to do with them. The future is yours, Peter. Do with it whatever you'd like. And if along the way you need something from me— resources, money, planes, buildings, anything— tell Happy and it's yours._

_Like I said, you're already doing better than I ever did. Trust yourself. Everything will end up the way its supposed to._

_Tony_

It's takes him longer to get through the letter than he'd like to admit. And once he does finish it, he reads it again. And again. He reads it until it feels remotely real. And then he reads it one more time.

Because how is he supposed to believe that Tony knew, he knew he wasn't coming out of the fight alive but risked it all anyways? How is he supposed to believe that it's because Tony wanted to save him of all people? But, really, after all of those thoughts, he knows it's true. Because Tony had never done anything to hurt him, not intentionally. Even now, after everything, he's still looking out for him. Protecting him.

Peter wishes it didn't hurt so much.

He must have been alone for awhile, but he's still clutching the letter when a hand claps his shoulder. Peter goes to move away, maybe even hide the letter, but the hand tightens on his shoulder and despite knowing he can tear himself from the grip, Peter relaxes into the touch.

"Hey, there you go. Easy there, kid."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Rhodes. I-I didn't mean-"

"You have nothing to be sorry for. And none of this Mr. Rhodes crap, okay?" Rhodes smiles down at the kid, nothing but warmth to compliment the sadness in his eyes. Even in all that grief, he still manages an affectionate huff when his eyes land on the photograph. "I see you found the letter."

"I- no! I mean, yes, I did. I didn't mean to snoop, honest-"

"Peter." And this time the warm affection is aimed towards him, a ghost of recognition in the older man's eyes that Peter guesses is for a certain sacrificing genius. "Stop apologizing. Everything here is as much yours as it is everyone else's, aside from Pepper, maybe."

"That's not true," he says, because it can't possibly be.

"Of course it is. Tony loved you, you know." There's the smile again, sad and true on his face. "He would've wanted you to know that."

Peter lets that sink in because, sure, he may have known that already somewhere deep down, but him and Tony weren't there yet. And now... now they'll never get the chance to get there.

"He did all of this for me." It's a statement, not a question, because Tony said as much himself in his mess of a letter.

"Yeah," Rhodes agrees at first but then shakes his head. "And no. He thought he could save the world, thought he had to."

"He did save the world."

"He did. Always knew he was going to," Rhodes snorts, his hand still resting comfortably on Peter's shoulder, not that he's in any hurry to get rid of it. 

"He says it's on me now."

"Now I know he didn't say that," Rhodes frowns, eyebrows crinkling at Peter's words. 

"Maybe not in those words," Peter admits sheepishly, eyes finally drying a little for the first time in an hour. He's exhausted and positive he can't shed another tear. "He said the world needs superheroes."

"Sure. Always will. Doesn't mean it has to be you."

"It can't be me. I'm not him."

"God, I sure hope not." Rhodes does laugh this time, whole body shaking moving Peter with it. "Don't know if I could handle another Tony Stark. Besides, he wouldn't want you to be. He'd want you to be-"

"Better?" Peter supplies, noticing with frightening clarity why Rhodes and Tony were best friends.

"Sure," he shrugs carelessly. "But I was going to say he'd want you to be happy."

"Oh."

"Tony knew what it was like to fight tirelessly for a world that would rather fight him back than accept his help. He wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially not you."

Peter thinks of all the times he saw Tony worn down, bags under his eyes from coming out of a workshop binge. He thinks of the times he was out of the country on business, at an Accords meeting, funding recovery projects for fallen cities. Tony never seemed to breathe, let alone rest.

"The decision is yours, Peter. It doesn't have to be made right now," Rhodes claps his back one more time before pulling away. "You going to join us in the near future?"

Peter turns the letter over in his hands feeling the reassuring weight of the paper on his fingers, the knowledge that Tony is with him, that he believes in him, loves him, and folds it in his pocket. The tears form in his eyes again, he's not sure they'll be leaving for quite some time, but that's okay. With Tony's letter in his pocket and words on his mind, he'll get there.

"Sure," Peter responds. "I'm right behind you."


End file.
